♥ lonely Good Friday

Friday, April 14, 2006 @ 4/14/2006 02:40:00 PM

hmm.. today is Good Friday, suppose to restrain from meat.. or mayb even fast.. sigh.. jus felt so down lah.. probably cos today Jesus died on da cross, n i felt lonely without Jesus. wahaha.. wad rubbish, God will always be with me. yeah. n im glad He has always been faithful to me.. i'll fast breakfast n lunch, 4pm den eat. ytd slept at around 4.30am, chatted with eugene for 3hrs, my buddy who always listen to my problems!! *cheers* to our buddy-ship! well, was tearing as i chatted lah. he's doing fine(in fact, VEH GOOD. haa) with his gf.. pour out all my problems to him lah. n he listens lor.. thx for ur ear, gene.. found out another bad thing again, but 4get it lah. hu cares.. since i shouldn't noe, den i'll not care abt it lor.. anyway, sometimes i have to learn to let go n also to pull back.. but i guess, pulling back will onli cause hurt.. cos if i pull back, he'll be so close to my hart, which makes it even easier to hurt me.. *sigh* :( sometimes i jus dun feel like caring n thinking abt all dis darn things. it's so frustrating n tiring. it drains me out.. i always wonder if i should act as if nothing happens at all n to always put on a smile each time i c him.. but i noe by doing dis i will onli hurt myself more.. but at least he's happy rite.. hais.. it's reali tough.. so tough dat i felt like giving up.. ai yi ge ren, shi zhen de na me tong ku mah? the hurts dat i received had become unfading scars..

it's so easy to sae dat i wanna give up, but it's cos of my deep love dat i persevere n hope for da rainbow to appear after each storm.

i jus dun understand y, the rain jus cun stop. even if it doesn't rain, there isn't any sun. it's all grey or black.


`living in a dull world`; missyMAG...... -i wish my hart is dead-