♥ My 3rd...
Thursday, October 23, 2008 @ 10/23/2008 08:34:00 PM
It's my third time.... I think I'm more experienced? lol. My first reaction wasn't angry at all... I was quite calm.. lol. But after awhile, i came to my senses.. I cried in office, for goodness sake. Nobody noes tho. After lunch, went to the toilet and breakdown, really cannot take it. Then went back office to continue my work. I told my friend that I must drown myself with work so I won't think about that.
Sigh, just a little unsure of what he wants.. But, it's for sure that he can't have the best of both worlds... Yes, the girl is good, the girl is great, probably she can give him what I can't give. No matter what happens, i think i just have to be happy that at least our paths cross and we did try our best in this relationship..
I asked myself, "why is it always me? it's like on a yearly basis samore. WHY? my old scar just recovered and here comes a new wound..".
Fine, some people just won't know how it feels being hurt, till they experience it themselves.
Alot of things running in my mind.. I'm thinking alot alot alot... I'm really tired.. Mentally and emotionally.. Just now while buying lunch, I suddenly feel very stressed up. I dunno how should I go about handling this issue. Although it's my third time, I think I won't just forgive and that's all. If not, I will be doing myself injustice and he will think he can get away so easily everytime.
Went to SK, my MP3 sucks today, the songs made me cry on bus! To prevent myself from crying or thinking of this, I quickly switch to "Low", and repeat it till i reach home. Indeed it helped. I went to pass minjie's stuff to his brother. Went to compasspoint Ladies, I brokedown at there again. I gave myself 10mins to cry. After that I cleaned up myself and went up to his house to pass to minxiang. Somehow, he looked into my eyes knowing that I cried and looks a little worried. lol. Or mayb he was shocked to see that I went all the way there to pass his brother the singlets. haa.
Went home after that. I literally fell aslp on bus. Was very tired after one whole day of crying n tearing. I told my friend that I was tired and wanted to go home.. I really tired. Cos I can't possibly just rest, stare blank, daydream at office. I've to do my things despite all the issues in my heart..
It's the ache in the heart.It's what i call, "heartpain".Total confusion and helpless.I find trouble and problem for myself,I'll face it myself. Anyway, it's partly my fault..You can blame me.. Blame me for all you want..I dun give a damn anymore..I'm tired, I feel like giving up everything!!!!! aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.......... Dearie Rox, pub someday.. I'm feeling very vex..
