♥ Life is like a rollercoaster...
Wednesday, October 08, 2008 @ 10/08/2008 08:42:00 PM
hmm....
Many many thoughts running through my mind... I dunno who to start and dunno where to start..
I'll start with
work....
So far my work is not giving me much problem. Just that sometimes I can't focus and may stray away. Facing the computer has caused my eyesight to get poorer. I hope it won't get so worse.
Next, to my
emotions....
I'm facing lots of problems.. not a surprise anyway.. I'm always facing problems.. many many problems.. it's very difficult to solve it, cos i dunno how.. my heart just feels very tight.. whatever step i take, i'm taking a risk... But it seems that every step i take is a wrong one, which causes me to regret and feel so down... So so upset that I walked from TM to the next bus stop when there is one just opposite the road.. He's sick, so I tried my very best to give him advice to help him feel better.. But the reply wasn't very good, it somehow dampen my mood.. I told myself it's okay.. So i continued to smile and msg him.. Hoping that things might turn out better in after awhile.. Seems like it didn't.. Anyway, I was still excited that i'll be meeting him after work.. In then end, we didnt meet.. He gave me 2choices, but I chose not to meet him... Cos i feel that he seems reluctant and his mood was not good (like angry with me that kind), so we might quarrel or things may turn out sour.. So i said "Den nvm, it's okay. we meet another day. you go home and rest early bah k?" He's reply was so hurting.. I cried while walking to the bus stop.. It's not easy to control those tears.. It just flow.. My heart just ache.. My leg hurts too.. But I don't care, i even thought of walking to TP to take Bus 8. But I gave up cos my leg is getting tired..
Enough of all this. I'm getting emotional... Feel like breaking down... Crying has been activated... Tonight is not the right time to cry, cos tmr i've work.. I shall control till Friday night... I just feel so helpless..
Sometimes, it's better not to know so much things.. Rox, you shouldn't have read her blog. It'll only bring you pain.. I know how it feels to find out such things.. I also thought that there wasn't any girl there.. I think it's better to be kept in the dark, than to find it out ourselves. Or probably it would have been less painful when this came out from their mouth..
