♥ 4 years 7 months.

Saturday, October 11, 2008 @ 10/11/2008 12:14:00 PM

4 Years and 7 Months together...

After work went to find them at town. Nothing much to say. Everything just didnt turn out well.. From my head to toe and from inside to outside. All I did was to smile my problems away infront of them. But some will noe how it feels in your heart... There is just this kind of sharp pain that you'll feel.. I don't know how to describe. If you ever cut your wrist, then mayb you'll know that it feels like that in your heart.. Those sharp sharp pain.. And my face will start squeezing like I'm gonna cry anytime soon, and tears will build up in my eyes.. I will curse and swear in my heart.. My body will be very violent, I will start clenching my fist, or i will hit the wall or do something which cause pain. I think cause i'm very angry with myself..

Sometimes i ask myself, " Do I deserve all these?", "What have I done wrong to be in this situation?"

It's hard to pull out my happy memories, which I will always try to think back when i'm feeling down..

But sometimes, it hurts even more... Cos you'll think, why in the past, we can be so happy, yet now things are always turning bad..

Is it true that medicine will cause the person to turn haywire? Oh gosh.. I'm just so angry and upset with myself..

It's difficult to talk about this to others, they may think i'm crazy. haha. I'm very cautious with my words and actions. I don't open myself up to others, unless they make me feel comfortable. But there are things which i've accepted and don't mind saying. Like, I'm from a broken family and all.. For other things, I just quietly talk to myself in my heart..

Living in fear. I'm scared...

Will be going out after work. No idea where yet.. But i think we'll go out?


QuestionS in my heart, waiting for people who can give me answerS...