♥ wad happen? 2days in a row..

Wednesday, July 26, 2006 @ 7/26/2006 12:01:00 AM

♥ like a fool`

Friday, July 21, 2006 @ 7/21/2006 07:25:00 PM

♥ ='(

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 @ 7/18/2006 11:49:00 PM

♥ happy or not happy?

@ 7/18/2006 12:29:00 AM

today dad fetched me to school so i left hm late, but i woke up so early lah. wast my time eating. lol.

met up with hubby for lunch den we slacked together till trng starts. hee.
he waited for me at school library till i finish discussing POM proj.
went to Library's Podium to find him. borrowed his POM to analyze some stuffs regarding my proj.
den..... so unluckily, i turned to a page where there's a girl handwriting lahs! wad da... was so sad. omost cry. but told myself to be strong. keke.

it wrote: "Moonlight @ Mr Wong's house, 10th June. Go Go Go!" (something lidat lor..)

*cries*

den he wanted to take da book from me to tear the part where dat girl wrote on. but in my heart i felt dat it's useless lah, cos i've oready read it. i saw it n i even rmb-ed it. it pierced rite thru my heart. den i refuse to give da book to him n i refuse to give him the ruler to tear the part. he became a lil unhappy bah or mayb pissed. hee. den i jus forget it lor.. passed da book n file den packed my tings n ready to leave the library le. den i jus pretend not to see dat he's tearing the part where da girl wrote. lol. quite touched when he tore it. but oso abit bad lah.. like im being so possessive of him.. but he's mine mah.. lol..

we walked out together. heading towards the coffeeshop opp. school.. was very moody n sad lor. saw sheena!! was happy to see her.. gave her a sad face n she noes smth is wrong le. so cute sia she.. understand me so much. hee. hubby n i while walking out become happy le. i guess, it's up to me if i wanna make it happy or not de.. hee. heng i tell myself not to be so petty over such issue.. if not till now oso wun hao de.. keke. i'm happy dat i was da one hu make da mood happy de. cos i play play n make fun of him.. den we became joyful le.. i tried piggyback-ing him a lil. so fun..

-CLIMAX-

he told me dat i must trust him. was a lil hesitent to believe wad he said. den i said, promised ok? den we hooked lil fingers, stamp our thumbs and sealed it with hugs n kisses. =)) a sense of assurance n i felt secured. reali secured. dat's y aft dat i was so happy. keke. but last time he oso lidat sae dis to me b4, in di end oso *uh-hem*... sigh..
heck care lah,be optimistic n dun oways brood over past unhappines. hee.

I HAVE MY IPOD NANO ALREADY!!!

♥ missin' something in my life..

Sunday, July 16, 2006 @ 7/16/2006 10:15:00 PM

he went trng... still waiting for his msg.. waiting... waiting... waiting...

Something is missing... wad's dat? i oso dunno.. i reali dunno..
i dunno wad my heart wants. sigh..
it's like, i have everything. i guess..
but in my heart it's yearning for something..

well.... i guess it's da X-FACTOR.. which i dun even noe. wad da...

im jus so demanding lah.. f* sia me.. such a demanding person.. cant jus live with wad i have.
anyway, ytd was so happy. reali reali happy. so sweet & bliss lah. =) love dat kind of feeling. but i suddenly realise and got a feeling dat he usually don't reciprocate. hmm.. it made my thoughts run wild.. like, is it i zhi zhuo duo qing? or he doesn't like it? or worse case, unfaithful!!! hope it's none of it. we went to ChompChomp for dinner aft a long n tiring day playing captain's ball. my class n his went in to finals, den we lost to them. shit lahs. can win de lor. we're very confident abt it. didnt reali like da girls in his class. esp one girl who gives me dat kinda f*ing look, blinked at me like wad sia. aft dat i went to dye my hair at compassvale walk. so he n i went for lunch before heading to sk in a cab. he drop me first den he went home for a nap. when im done, he came n pick me up.. oh my goodness!!! dis happens ONCE in my r'ship with him till now. ONCE!! ONCE in 2yrs4mths de r'ship!! oh my.. i was like so so happy lah. cos i oways c other girls de bf pick dem up all dis either from sch or wadever. i would start to feel envious of them...

argh.. aiyah, i'm jus oways making myself sad n being hurt lah. indeed im happy for other ppl.... but i feel sad cos i dun haf dat kind of care n concern. *sobs*

why he doesn't reciprocate de? make me feel dat im so foolish.. he doesn't like mushy mushy. i find it kinda weird.. why is it so?? dun understand da reason behind it. he's like so mysterious.. i'm beginning to question alot of tings.. bleahs. shit lah shit lah.. aaaahhhh` felt so fragile now..

talking on fone with him......... *in a confuse state*

sometimes when i talk mushy mushy tings to him.. he would reply in a way like it's so normal or he dislike it dat's y he somehow ignores it.. sucks lah.. felt so stoopid when i send mushy msges to him n received a msg which is normal.. i oso dunno how to describe lah.. but someting like dos bo chap kind of msg lor.. see le, i become sad.. no mood for everything..

he doesn't noe how to console an insecured hart.. alamak, i too demanding le lah.. hao bah, i better stop.. if not i can go on n on.. i pursue perfection, but im not one.. i suck man.. no wonder last time he'll hanky panky.. mayb cos of my sucky attitude.. oh no, i mus be alert and ready for any problems... if not my hart will be shattered into nano pieces.. which i tink we will NEVER EVER be able to reconcile again. so PLS better not happen..

♥ 13 june 2006

Thursday, July 13, 2006 @ 7/13/2006 11:38:00 AM

hmm..
well, things are getting better yah? keke.
im reali happy dat i spoke how i feel.. *phew*

bb & i de r'ship better le.
promised to sae out everything.
promised to be normal and sae out everything! *hooked little finger*
felt very relieved and HAPPY! =D
YEAH~

i dowan to sae abt 11 july 2006, cos it's unhappines. ='(
wasn't happy at all when i was out with him. felt so uncared at dat point of time.



is it so difficult to lend a helping hand to ur gf? jus holding a jacket for like mayb 3mins or so?
not even asking to hold it for da whole day.... sigh..
why lidat de?
kinda un-gentleman yah? well, wadever... keke..
love him can liao..

♥ love?

Saturday, July 08, 2006 @ 7/08/2006 01:37:00 PM

hais.
problems keep coming in.
m oways fated with problems.
when everything seems fine, der is oways something dat has problems.
da feeling sucks. it reali sucks.

this week nth much lah. jus got back all my papers. did quite ok lor. but wasnt happy with my microecons and POM. accounting oso didnt do very well. jus now chatted with my fren den realise he'll be competing against his team, Minyi. he told me dat 2dae dey're are competing his team today. den tmr is da finals le. waoh, dat's fast ar. lol. he asked me whether i'll be going to support him or wad, n da ans is "NOPE!". hee. kinda pissed off when he ask me dis lor. cos he nv bring me go de. hmm. anyway, it's over. next time he want ask me go, i oso dowan go le. i don't see any point or reason in going. *squint* unless to support other ppl den i'll consider. sians. problems n problems n problems~ argh. today actuali say hao go highlight hair together, but in di end, duno y didnt go oso. called da person to cancel di appointment, den she say postponed to next saturday 11am. i tot he'll be free, but too bad. i'll have to go myself. boos. ='( went out with him. it's like 2wks, go out once. *sobs* he's busy.... busy with competition n bball... dis whole week onli meet up for lunch ONCE! da rest i ate with frens. actuali thurs suppose to meet up for lunch de, but he FORGOTTEN! wad da?!?! u forgotten.... was so so damn pissed when he told me dat he forgotten. n he still dare to msg n sae: "... miss you sia..". so unbelievable. which is true? sigh. *dilemma* hmm. i wanna try to be nderstanding oso difficult. if at least he got spend a lil time with me. i oso wun feel so bad. but now is one week he onli spend 30MINS with me. WTH?! if i didnt showed my anger, we mite not even go out ytd. which means dis whole week from mon to sun, we onli meet up for a solid 30 MINS. well, i oso dunno wad to sae. oways neglect me.. den all he noes is sorry. if sorry is sufficient den wad r police for? hmm, it's oways a repeat of things. nxt yr will oso be da same. da following yr oso da same. dis will go on forever de. lol!! haiya~~ sians ar.. i injured my finger, n ytd he helped me to change plaster. come to tink of it, it's da first time he put plaster for me. sucha caring person. ytd he helped me to carry bag for like 30mins. n dat's oso mayb 1st or 2nd time he carry bag for me bah. blahblahblah.

talked quite alot le bah. oso sian to kip complaining den make u all suffer from my nagging, whining and complaints. share some happiness with u all k? hee. erm...
-My CSA(computer system application) got 37/50! yeah. hee. cos it suppose to be my weakest subject.
-PaceSETTERS, TP's ambassador (CCA). da interview was a success! yeah! m waiting for da first workshop and training on da 4th week of july. hee.
-My oral presentation for Communication Skills, da teacher said dat i did alrite. keke!
-Later going to play badminton with my church frens. =) fellowship with them. hehe.
-I've decided to eat lunch everyday with my frens in school. if got no break den i go home n eat.

yup, n dats some things im happy abt. keke. tho' it's jus small tings, but at least it didnt make me sad. unlike............. *boos* =(

i hurt my index finger while cutting fruits. aaahhh!!! someone must be tokking bad abt me. hee. sister helped me put plaster.*ouch* pain pain. now both my index finger oso got plaster. haa.

guys with all the great personalities girls desire are extinct. =lower.my.expectations=
TLC + C= TLC + Concern. sigh. it's difficult to get de. even TLC oready so difficult, not to even mention TLC + Concern. =( well, everything is fated.

magdalena;

♥ confusion

Tuesday, July 04, 2006 @ 7/04/2006 03:48:00 PM

hmm.. his back on saturday afternoon.. was so excited and happy when i received his msg.. but he sounded kinda sian.. so, der goes my mood.. >.< boos! he went to take a nap and rested for like 3hrs.. woosh, dat's long.. arnd 7.30pm i called to ask if his coming for my bro's birthday chalet. he got up n rushed down to ECP's chalet. well, it didn't turn out the way i imagined. cos i imagine that we'll hug or something. or mayb chat happily..
ohwells. i'll jus stick to my belief, dun expect too much!! argh. he showed attitude.. den when everyone left, my bro+gf and i+bb decided to walk to mac.. but halfway, he said he wanted to go home. den i say "ok lor, i walk with you to take cab." den i walk back myself lor.. he somehow showed attitude. he sae veh dangerous. fine. but he say i oways lidat one. wad da?! i pass him his belongings den jus turn my back and walk off. i was so damn pissed!!!!! i walk to a bench n sat der. think n think n think.. but i cry a lil onli. suddenly have da feeling of -why cry over him, worth it mah?-.. plus i was so angry n hurt when i rmb suddenly think dat; didnt see him for 5days le. now meet him oso quarrel. jus felt that we dun understand each other at all. sigh.. den more problems came lor.. when he say out wad's in his heart. yup, as usual, blamed myself again. he should have told me dat his home got cook. =(
anyway, he stayed till da next morning. we hang around at east coast beach. i was freezing cold can! my teeth were chattering and i was shivering. reali reali very cold. can u imagine, the cold sea breeze blowing at you for 3solid hours. plus i was wearing shorts. so damn cold lah. *shivers* he went home at arnd 7am bah.. den at nite got bball match.
ohwells. it's bball again. everyday in his life is abt bball. look at it in a humorous manner, i've become his 2nd gf le.. lol. bball is his CCA, im his ECA. boos. ='( ytd, think n think den my heart was telling me; might as well become frens, den he no nid to haf commitments in r'ship. jus bball will do, since it takes up 3/4 of his life. i didnt say 3/4 of time, i said 3/4 of life. woops. dat's alot yah. well, accept it bah mag.. it's ur choice in da first place. hee. jus smile abt it and let it be..
AND, i got into PACEsetters!! was so happy lahs! come to tink abt it, he wasnt da 2st person i share my joy with. hmm, why leh? tell him he oso "orh.. good lor.."

maggie-dalena; lonely me again...