♥ lonely tues..

Tuesday, April 18, 2006 @ 4/18/2006 01:51:00 PM

hmm.. it's tuesday again.. n it's jus me alone again.. well, but luckily i had vocal training 2nite while he go training.. argh, da day b4 had a quarrel with him again. F***! erm, cos i didnt msg him.. i jus feel dat we'r drifted apart. so i was quite reluctant to msg with him.. n i always have dis feeling dat he's not faithful lahs, which means he's doing smth behind my back.. *sigh* da feeling is not good at all.. cos u haf a feeling of loss.. as if he's not urs anymore, n u gotta share him with other gals.. -insecured-
"msg-ed" till around 10.30pm.. den he go online, a lil' insecured again.. but i jus ignored it lah. den he suggested tokkin on da fone, i told him im kinda afraid dat it'll be awkward. cos we like didnt tok on fone for ages liao.. n plus, we're not in veh good terms. but he insist dat der's nth wrong.. so we tok on fone lor.. ARGH! im rite.. we ended quarrelling.. i reali reali reali regret tokking on fone with him.. i should have followed my instinct~!! stupid mag, stupid mag! he said dat da way i tokked to him is different from last time.. but he got think anot, da last time he is referring is when?? 1yr ago? or 2yrs ago? aahh.. sometimes i feel dat i've had enuf le.. but my hart is glued to him.. body n emotion is weak, but my hart is statyin strong with him. so difficult. so difficult to make decisions, sometimes. but i swear, i really love him alot.. he's da only guy dat i've devoted my every love n time to. he's precious to me. i treasure him lots. i feel upset when i dun c him.. my love for him is un-measurable. i love u, darling. *sompa*

ytd went out with him.. since da nite b4 till b4 meeting him, we didnt msg at all, but both of us still meet at da agreed time n we manage to find each other w/o contacting. went to Heeren to get our sandals. yeah. like it lots. hubby get da same 1 s me; Havaianas golden sandals. went to bugis aft dat. dunno y, but he's honey-sweet. n i admit i felt touch. embracing each other, gives us warmth in da midst of a cold weather. holding hands n running across da road under da pouring rain. it's romantic. i've counted, it's da 2nd time. da 1st time was in sec 4, aft sch, we went to selegie area n it's pouring. we held hands n run across da rain. hee. *sweet* aft dat we went to potong pasir's mac for dinner den go watch match le. aft dat jiu go home. hee. enjoyed my day with him.

watched 100% Entertainment. xiao gui suddenly cried in da midst of da Variety Live Show. i wanted to ask hubby, "why?". but he asked me 1st.. haa. er, so i told him dat mayb is cos of r'ship problems. both of us pity xiao gui. to me, i veh xian mu him cos he still can laugh n joke around despite his sadness.. (hmm, still learning to be like dat) but, it's hard on him, surely within him hurts alot alot. but it's so hard to find a guy whom is so emotional like him. nowadays, guys r so hardy, dat dey seems s tho dey'v got no feelings de. dis type of guys surely r not romantic de. i prefer guys who haf emotions but r strong; like xiao gui dis type lah. probably, my boi is oso like him, who is sad but didnt show his emotions. i think so too. i felt so sad n guilty, dat i didnt care abt him, like didnt ask how is him or if he's sad or wad.. sorry darling.
baby, tell me ur problems if u have. dun keep it to urself. i can take it de.. no matter wad, jus voice it out. i'll be understanding, i promise, ok? pls, dun keep it to urself.. if not, wad is gf for, rite..? take care, precious. <3 bb!