♥ caught him again..

Saturday, April 22, 2006 @ 4/22/2006 05:01:00 PM

hmm.. i dunno y, but God is always being so nice to me.. God let me found out tings which "he" doesnt wanna tell me. haa. God, U're good! i saw his true colours. i reali saw. wad more can i say abt him??[i noe it all in my hart] guys are all da same. i bet u gerls wil agree with me. especially guys whose character n personality are like "him", im sorry, my perspective of u all will be bad.. argh.. saw da fotos in friendster, i jus burst into tears.. wth.. she have no shame at all! i'll not say da name. bitch~ seducer! dun she noe he's attach? well, probably, he doesnt wanna tell dem dat he's attached.. sigh.. i dun understand y i can still hold on.. chat with my guy-fren, n he say "wah, u can tolerate sia..".. hmm, i oso tink it's da 1st time im so strong.. n dis r'ship had made my hart dead. can some1 soften a hardened hart?? give my hart some feelings.. to be able to feel the love again.. y other guys seems to treat me better than him? y m i precious in their eyes, but not in his? *sigh* aaaaahhh.... i reali hate it, hate it dat i always have to find out such tings.. u dun love me jus say it out lah.. dun have to do sucha tings rite.. pui~ fuck off.. dun eva say u love me.. it feels so fake now. when i confront him, he'll definitely deny it rite at dat veh moment. cannot be my eyes r playing a fool with me.. it's him.. n yes, it's him.. *cries* y mus it be him?? -sobs- it makes me feel dat all da love i've devoted to is nth n is gone.. sigh.. i tink we're reali not meant to be 2geder.. we're jus forcing ourselves.. n forcing myself to be 2geder will not have any happiness. i've a strong will, dat's y altho many a times i said i wanna gif up, i still hold on to him. but i tink dis time i cun hold on anymore.. it reali hurts me alot. no gerls can eva stand it seeing dat.. n i've been kept in da dark for like 4mths.. gosh, how blur n dumb m i.. it's hurting.. reali hurting.......

swing, thanks for ur listening ear n advice.. luckily i have u to share my problems with.. or else i oso dunno wad to do le.. love ya~ keep in touch always k. take care yah? u're a wonderful fren to me too~ hmm.. had been busy goin to sch's orientation.. it's boring n tiring. get to noe my classmates. xchanged no. n email.. yea, dey're a nice bunch of ppl.. especially da gals.. we get along well.. n began to be close oreadi.. it's a new sch, n i'll start fresh.. study hard hard.. n not get distracted by him le.. not worth it.. he oso dun treasure me, wad for spend so much time on tings dat u'll nv be appreciated for.. sigh.. he's sucha disappointment.. didnt expect him to do such tings.. he even got da guts n conscious to do it.. hais.. reali nth to say to him oreadi..

jo, help me.. u sae u'll help me de.. now how????? hais..

numbed hart; missyMag